World of Jop

Heart vs. Mind: a battle that most of us fight, deep inside themselves. Heart: the desires, the dreams, the ideals…Mind: to do what is “good”, to think on the long term, to be “wise”. Some fight this battle their whole lives. Others simply ignore  either heart or mind, and become either extremely emotional or extermely cold and calulcated.

So far (but I am still quite young, I guess) I surely would feel under the first group. Interesting (or worrying?) is that it seems  that slowly the focus from heart seems to shift to mind…Is that what they mean by getting mature?

The only solution for persons like me is to find the balance: realise a dream by a well planned long term strategy perhaps, or just to follow the heart within borders defined by mind. It would not be a bad choice, most likely: no one less then the Dalai Lama taught us  to search for balance in life always. He says that all in the universe is a delicate balance between opposites, and since he is the Sea of Wisdom, most likely he would be quite right.

My eternal internal fight between Mind  and Heart became heavenly again recently because of the fierce attempts of Zigg, where I run my project, to to sign me permanently. Heart was not to0 happy with it: the past few years I worked hard for another Asian experience, and by now the required amount of money has been gathered. Mind thought more practically though: the offer could be quite  good, there is an economic recession, and another Asian adventure could be followed by another episode of depdence of friends and family once back in Holland, without any place to stay and - most likely - a negative bank account. Would it not be good to buy a house first, become more experienced and specialised, and then make the move?

After severe fights and negotiations (the fact those are there, might already indicate a certain power balance in favour of Mind), Heart and Mind came to terms. Ziggo would get his chance. Ziggo almost blew it up by a ridiculous low offer, but realised its misstake just in time and came with a more then reasonable offe.

Well, today will be D-day…Changes will be big I will sign, thus delaying my Asian-dream, even though there still is my vacation coming up soon. Then, Asia would not run away, would it?

Recently a Dutch ultra-right politican called Geert Wilders made a movie in which he critisiced the the Islam…it caused emotional reactions througout the world. Dutch flags were for example burned in Iran, and several people with the  family-name ‘Wilders’ were treatened (even though  they were not relatives of him at all).

It my Malaysian friend Nadia wonder what is really happening here, and what is the true story behind  it…Since I could imagine more people would have  this question, I added our correspondention in this blog. Morale: the movie is just  the expression of one indivudual, and definitely not of a country.

Nadia wrote:
> hi jop! wat are you up to these days? im just dropping by to say hi and umm, maybe ask you some questions, if you dont mind. as u are aware, the film fitna is really a big issue here. our ex-primer already called a ban on dutch products. to be frank, the average malaysian dont really care, especially the educated ones. but the issue is being politizied as usual. whats happening in the netherlands? what do u personally think of the video?

Jop wrote:

Hi Nadia,

It is nice and interesting to hear from you…I was not aware the movie was an issue as well in Malaysia. I heard there  were protests in countries like Iran and Afghanistan…

The whole story with this movie got quite of proportions, if you ask me.

it has been made by Geert Wilders, who is leader of a very right oriented political party in the Netherlands. Geert Wilders is always trying to make people who are not so well educated afraid  for the Islam. He tells about a  future in which the Netherlands will be dominated by the Islam, in which it will lose its own values, and he also keeps on telling things that all Muslims are terrorists and so on.

His reasoning behind it is really poor and any educated person will consider his statements as ungrounded, but sadly there are always people who are influencable by such words and becuase of that he still has quite some followers. Like in your country, often those are  also the less educated people.

When he announced he was going to make a movie in which he would critisice the Islam, it resulted in a shock. Rumour were there that in this movie he would burn page from the Koran and so, and the Dutch government feared it could result in conflicts  between the Muslim communiniies and the autochtonous groups  in the Netherlands. They also feared it could bring Dutchmen in Islamic countries into danger, and harm political and business relaitons.

So, they asked Geert Wilders  to stop making this movie, but like ussual he loved the attention and the commotion so he continued. He said that everyone has the right to express his opinion, and that that right never should be given up under threat of violence or conflicts. Another important value, that one should respect other people, was  completely ignored by Mr Wilders.

When the government realised Wilders  would like ussual only think of his own pathetic interests, they made an official declaration that they are not supporting or agreeing with this movie in any way. The movie was not broadcasted on any TV-channel, and thus has been the expression of one individual instead of The Netherlands.

In the end, both the Muslim and  autochtonous communities did not take the move very seriously here, and I think Wilders has made quite a fool out of himselve in the end. A lot of people and celibrities here went on the street to protest about his provocations, and to show they respect the Muslim-religion and support a multicultural society.

Personally I never took Mr Wilders seriously and even though I have not seen it, I dont take his movie seriously as well. Personally I always have find  the Islam and its culture very interesting, and I believe we Dutch could learn a lot from it. I always believe that a multi-cultural society can bring a lot of goods, as long as all are open-minded and respectful to each other. We all can learn from each other.

Another funny thing is that if Wilders  would have replaced ‘Islam’ in his movie and statement into ‘Jewish’, he probaly would have been arrested and put in jail (Because of the  second world war). It just shows  that ‘Freedom of Expression’ is quite subjective and that the Dutch sometimes are a bit hypocrite.

I foun this correspondention meaningful and i am going to put it in my blog…Just to show that movie is  the expression of one individual (who sadly has a political function), but definitely not of a country.

Take good care,

Jop

Probaly the most famous old story from the Netherlands, is the one about ‘The Flying Dutchman’, the ghostship that sometimes appears in a heavy storm, sailing against the wind, bring bad luck to all who saw it…The Flying Dutchman even appeared, in a slightly mutated version, in Pirates of the Caribbean II and is used for almost anything Dutch that can fly or not fly (for example: one nickname for Dennis Bergkamp was the non-flying Dutchman because of his fear to fly). Also the name is used for some attractions in Dutch themeparks, some Dutch space-sonde ( I never knew we had…), a pigeons-foundation, and so on. But…where does this flying Dutchman come from?? For those of you who are interested such old stories like I do, I will write it in my blog, inspired by Meryn Roodbeen’s book ‘Most beautiful Dutch stories and myths’,added with some extra information I found on the net.

A heavy storm was blowing on the coast already for this, making it impossible for any ship to sail away from Terneuzen, an old city in the South-West of the Netherlands. This would annoy captain Willem van der Decken beyong imagination. The ambitous captain had the reputation of being very brave, but also to be extremely stubborn; he used to reach anything he wanted. Right now he wanted to start his travel to the Indies (now Indonesia), to get spices there to sell to the rich Dutch merchants of Amsterdam. He waited for several days already, but the storm would not seize. Finally Willem van der Decken cried in anger to his crew: We will sail tomorrow, storm or no storm!! Noone would dare to discuss this decisions with him…Did he not travel to Java in Indonesia in only 3 months, while any other captain would take at least 6 months for such a travel?? "I will sail tomorrow", the captain cried again against the first mate. Like he wanted to challenge him, but he was challenging the world and God…

" But sir, tomorrow is first Eastern day…the day of Christ!!" On this holy day, no ship ever would leave harbour. "I sail whenever I want", the captain cried in anger. According to some he even threw a bible in the see to show noone would stop him, neither human or Divine…

The next day, the storm even had increased, but the captain had made his decision. " We will sail!!", he cried, and once again: " We will sail!!". His men cried in joy, because they all were very proud of their captain. Their proudness conquered the voice inside them, telling them not to go…Than, the eastern clocks started ringing. Christ had raised…Some people on the shore asked him not to sail…not on this day…But the captian would not listen. "I will sail"!!!

The crew became silent…how to sail against this heavy storm?? Was it not impossible??"I will sail!!", their captain shouted again. The man felt proud with their captain, was a man he was…Than they heard him shout…"I will sail, even if God would make me sail until eternity!!". After he said that, the sails were released and the ship sailed away….against the wind!! The people ashore looked with their mouths wide open…

The ship would never return to the Netherlands, and never would arrive in Indonesia anymore. For many years, noone would hear anything about the ship anymore, and the people assumed it would have sunken. That happened frequently in those years, and taking into consideration the strange things when the ship sailed away…

But than, years later, a ship was sailing around Kaap de Goede Hoop, at the South of Africa. The place was famous for its terrible storm, and also now the weather was stormy…Suddenly, a ship passed by, an old model, not used anymore in these days…It was having sails as red as blood, a Dutch wooden lion at the front and, most bizar…was sailing against the wind…Bad luck came to the ship who encountered the Flying Dutchman; it sank 2 days later…

The Flying Dutchman was seen many more times, often bring bad luck to the ships it met. Some saw the captain standing behind his weel, long and skinny, with wait long hairs, and no eyes in his face, apparently ‘bitten by Death"…The ship sometimes would sail through other ships, without any clash…The most remarkable claim came from Prince George (the later King George the 5th), who saw the ship close to Australia.

Once in seven years, the ship and its captain would have some rest. The ship would arrive in some harbour, and bring letters for people already passed away for hundred years…Also, it has been told that every 100 years the captain is allowed to come ashore and take a wife with him.

Some say the Flying Dutchman still sails, but in Wagner’s famous romantic opera ‘ Der fliegende Hollander’ (German for the flying Dutchman), the captain is save by the love of a young girl. The curse of him sailing around the sea can only be broken when a lady will swear him eternal faith; A young girl called Senta wants to save him, also to escape from the social environment that is making her unhappy. She jumps in the sea and from the moment the Flying Dutchman dissapears in the waves forever too. Over death she liberates the captain of his doom; love triumphs. 

One of the things I really love are old myths and legends. This already started in my youth; After I finished my own books and the one my parents give me from their youth, I had the habit of reading any book of my parens heavily-loaded bookshelves I could get hold on. I would read anything; the books related to nature and animals belonging to my mother, the history & war books belonging to my father and all kind of novels I would not understand a thing of considering the fact I was about 10 than. I even read the books of Jan Wolkers which most definitely can be considered as ‘adult only books’ ;-).

I mostly got fascinated by ancient Roman and Greece history though. The heroic stories about the Troian war, the battle of Termopylae between 100 heroic Spartans and the hughe invading army of the Persian king Xerxes (There will come a movie about this, I read in a newspaper), the story of Romulus and Remus who founded Rome; all would fasincate me beyong imagination. In fact this made me teachers pet during my classes Latin and ancient Greece in college, even though I would never get a hold on the grammar itself and broke some of the all-time low result records in that ;-).

Anyways, this interest never really died and when the years came, I also started to read myths and legends from South America, India, Japan, Indonesia and China. It is truly interesting to see how these stories from very different part of the worlds on one hand have a lot in common, but on the other hand have structural differences. The latter, obviously, is related to cultural differences; I noticed for instance that in some myths from Japan the message very clearly was ‘ stick at the group or else your end will be mostly unpleasant’. In many western stories however, those who goes into the world to find adventure will often find richdom and goodluck… Could it be the latter reflects the ‘individualstic western culture’  and first the more collectivistic Asian culture?’

Perhaps more interesting however are the many simularities…like the common believe in spirits and ghosts….Just like their are so many simularaties in different religions, showing either their must exist such supernatural entities, or there is a universal human need to ‘ create them’, to give the unknown a certain visualisation and make the uncontrolable a bit contrable (for instance by praying or sacrificing…).

The most recent books I read was about stories from Indonesia. In the Indonesia stories, many animals played a role, from tigers to fishes and frogs…the people were very cunning and smart, and ussually inteligence beats power. In many stories, hierarchy also seems to be very important; people are very loyal to their rulers and lords. Interesting when realising that according to culture-expert Hofstede, Indonesia indeed is a very hierarchic country…

Well, I could write hours about this subject I suppose; it interests me, that is why. But I will respect myself until telling about a Dutch legend, in my next posting :-). And, for my Indonesian friends: be alert to KUNTILANAKS!! ;-).   

Great news here in Holland! Sinterklaas, also known as St. Nicolaas arrived from Spain last Saterday in his steamboat loaded with presents and accompanied by his Black Petes. On special request of my special Indonesian friend Titah, who is doing a great job working on the HIV/AIDS LN in Indonesia, I will tell something more about this mythical figure, who is not the same as Santaclaus, as often is assumed by non-Dutch….I even did some 
                      small research to his origins :-).

Sinterklaas coming to Holland in Novembre by steamboat from Spain is a yearly event in the Netherlands, mostly for the young and still naive kids. All know that Sinterklaas will bring  presents from Spain for them, that is, if they have been nice during the year. Sinterklaas keeps track of their behaviour in a book, and does who are not nice are risking several punishment, varying from not getting any presents to being hit by the ‘ roe’ - a number of small sticks being tied in a bundle’ and being taken away in Sinterklaas bag to Spain. In practice, Sinterklaas hardly makes use of such severe punshments, being a well-know friend of children

Most of it presents are divided by Sinterklaas on its birthday, the 5th of Decembre, but also before this time children make a chance to get some small ‘ appetizing’ presents. Sinterklaas uses a most unique distributing system: he travels over the roofs on a white horse, and his Black Petes will go through the chimneys to enter the houses and put small presents in the children’s shoes. Often, the childs will put a carrot for the Saint’s horse in their shoe, or a personal message.

Besides of his  unique distribution system, the saint also uses a special  outfit so that he will be recognised above his competitors. Like the Christmas Man, his main competitor, he is dressed in red, but being a saint, Sinterklaas is far more elegant and slim. He wears a red mitre, with a yellow cross on it, and the dress of a saint, also in red and yellow. Besides, he always wears a golden bishops-crozier. As already mentioned, he drives a white horse and is accompagnied by a number of Black Petes, which are always dressed very colourful, wear heads and are known to be a bit naughty at times. The petes also give candy and sweets to the kids.

From the moment Sinterklaas arrives until the 5th of Decembre almost any shop is paying attention to Sinterklaas. All kinds of special foods can be bought, including chocolate letters (one should give the first letter of someones name to that person), chocolate coins, chocolate cigarettes, banquette letters, speculaas, speculaas nuts, and all kind of shapes in marzipan. Moreover, everywhere on can here special Sinterklaas-carols. The big celbiration will be 5th of Decembre; children will be thrilled when the doorbell is rang and they find a big bag full of presents, while older people who do not believe in Sinterklaas anymore often celibrate by making poems and so called ‘ surprises’ for each other.

 
The background of this tradition seems to be mixed; it seems several elements have been combined, and many of the symbols come from traditions long ago. St. Nicolaas is a Catholic saint who is claimed to have saved some childs in a miraculous way during his early years.He is also the patronage of sailors, which explains why he comes yearly by ship from Spain, a country the Netherlands has some strong historical ties with. Sinterklaas used to be helped by only one Black Petes who according to some might find its origin in the Mughals which Spain occupied for several hundred years; but others claim he symbolises a conquered demon; other say Black Pete come from the Dark Raven that assisted Wodan. The white horse might be connected to the white horse of Wodan, an ancient Germanic god, rode through the air, according to the myths. Speculaas used also to be called ‘bisshops-cook, and so many symbols can be expained from former times.

Sinterklaas is not the same as Santa Claus but they have a common background. The word Sinterklaas was brought to USA by Dutch migrants, where it became a word for the Christmas Man. The quite commercial Santa Claus made its way to Uk and eventually also back to the Netherlands, where he became Sinterklaas main competitor…

For Dutch standards we had an excellent summer; and even the last days we had some really sunny days, which is not so ussual for Oktober at all, when is should be rainy and stormy and stuff. Well, it was quite pleasant, allthough there are also people who say this is not a pleasant matter at all, but a sign of global warming…

Anyways, autumn finally has made his way through and have really started now. And, as always makes me quite nostalgic, less energetic and a bit more introvert, I suppose. Since the wheater is not so pleasant, people will shift inside their houses soon, and it is not so busy in the streets…Moreover, it is also dark soon outside. Instead of looking to the future, I rather will look at the past, and get back all my memories from for instance India and Malaysia. So, now I finally started with my photoalbums regarding those, just emailed my old Japanese, HK & Korean friends from India which I have not spoken for ages (since last autumn), and dream of quiting my job to go back to Asia which is not possible at all since I have no money for that.

But actually, this fall it has become even worse because I seem to look even further back in the past than my own lifetime. I decided to borrow some really classic movies from my parents and started watching them: Birds, A Space Oddysee, and King Kong, that is the old version in dark white. Really inspiring indeed. I even bough 2 CD’s with songs from the 80ies including old-timers like ‘ Shout, shout, ready to route’, ‘ have a little faith in me’, and ‘ live is life’. Even worse, I bought a CD of Elvis Pressly and even kind of like it.

Mmmm, when winter is going to begin? Guess I need some snow…

Well, as we all we all know…life always goes one. Last Monday was the cremation of my grandmother. It was a sad yet beautiful event; we (my family) gathered at the place of the organisation responsible for the ceremony, after wich we drove with two black cars to Moskowa, a cemetery in Arnhem. In the first car, the chest with my granny was put; in the second my mother, my father, my sisters and me. My other granny and my aunty were following. Most of my familymembers were quite emotional (allthough we still made some jokes, my family always does), but I noticed I had kind of sealed my heart…I felt hardly any emotions at all, maybe because I did not allow them to come…Quite strange maybe.

At the cemetery we went to a space, and found some friends of my granny waiting there. Quite some came from the flat where she used to live, while also the best friends of my mother were there to support her. It was heart-warming to see. We listened to some music my granny used to like, than mty mother gave an emotion speech. Than it was my turn to say some words; luckily it went good enough. In a way it is hard to do, but it gives a good feeling too…you really can say goodbye. After that, we all walked around the chest (in Catholic style, allthough we are not Catholic…) and drank some coffee and got condeleances of the guests. It was of course  sad event, but also beautiful.

And yes, life goes on. The same evening it was cup-football for my indoor-football team. This year we participate in a cup and the first match we had to play against a team existing of Turkish players. Well, of course Dutch, but all clearly had a Turkish background. It is kind of funny to see they always have their own specific style if playing; very skillfull, but also not really playing like a team, and very emotional and irritated when not winning. So, knowing this, we tried to make use of it.

Indeed, things went like expected. Their players were really good, but always choose to shoot on goal themselves, even when other players would have a better opportunity. Being the goalkeeper of this team, I love that. I like long distances shots and had the chance to make quite some good saves. We took a lead but than they scored 2 goals, after we equalised. In the second half things seemed to turn bad when they scored 3-2, but our guest player Thijs managed to score a nice goal making it three-three. Again they scored, but with some minutes to play again we scored. 4-4!!!

But of course, a cup game needs a winner…so…Penalty shootout!!!And actually, I like that so much. I never lost one penalty-shootout series in my life. It all is a great game, and some psychological skills are definitely needed.

And yes, we also won this one. I managed to save one and also scored my penalty. My team mates hit the post twice, but our opponent did the same once, so that we proceeded to the next round. For me, the victory meant a lot…I wanted to win it for my granny and am happy I could.

Ok lah…It is weekend now and I need some sleep after a long week of working. Au revoir, as they say in France…

Farewell to my granny, who passed away last wednesday…

Writing about it in a blog that can be read by many is an extremely strange thing for me. I always have be the kind of person to keep misery for myself…Like my parents and sisters, I guess that is the way we are raised. But yeah, the blog should give some reflection of my life, and life can always be cheerful, right?

Earlier I wrote about the operation my granny had in hospital. It went very well, an recovery at first went great too. But when she moved outside of the hospital, to an appartment where she could stay alone, supported by some nurses her health decreased again.

She needed to go back to hospital, and the situation slowely decreased, until the moment came the docters told there was no more hope. Dead would be only be a matter of time…

Living in a country where euthansy sometimes would be allowed (though not in the radical way as often is thought in other countries), the docters than would give morphine to my granny. The morphine makes sure the dead will be peaceful and without pain, so that the person does not have to suffer unnecessarily.

The evening before my granny would pass away, I spend in the hospital in front with her bed with my parents. Especially my mother was sad, of course, so it was my task to support her. It also was my final goodbye to my granny, allthough I am not sure if she could notice I was there…I told my daddy I felt this would be the last night of granny and it was like that; at in the night she passed away. Monday will be the cremation.

Rest in peace granny, we will never forget you. I pray there is a place where we can meet again.   

Intercultural meetings: I keep on loving them. While last weeks Cathy showed me a lot about Fillipino culture (I made my Karoake debute and ate Pinoy food…Mjam!!!), this morning I met an old friend and her friends.

Well, old friend…actually Sharon is not an old friend at all. First of all she is not old in age yet, and secondly we only learned to know each other in February this year, when I met her and my project coordinator from Malaysia, the infamous Anisha. The two of them have a most interesting friendship, being very opposite in some ways and therefore completing each other a lot, and it was very nice to show them Amsterdam and my hometown in February, when all was covered in a white blanket of snow.

Now, Sharon and some her friends were on their way for an AIESEC conference in Warshaw, Poland, and they would spend the morning in Amsterdam since they had to wait for around 8 hours for their connection flight. I managed to get a morning off from my work and went to Amsterdam to meet them there.

Surely, it would be a very nice morning. Sharons friends turned out to be very nice, like her. There was Yang, a Malaysian; his Malaysian way of speaking reminded of my beautiful moments there many times! There was Adam, a really nice guy from UK who was working for AIESEC Singapore. Not a bad job at all I would say….and there was another girl from Singapore too, who was really nice not to mention very charming, but I am afraid I forget her name…Still quite bad with names :-(.

We met at the Dam, where the royal palace can be found, and how nice it was to see Sharon again. It can make me really emotional to see a friend from so far away again, so I gave her a real Dutch hug :-). We went for some nice Dutch breakfast (fried eggs and stuff) with exception for Adam who opted for a heavy English breakfast. He loved…Don’t ask me why because I could not think of eating beans so early in the morning at all! Hehe, taste differ…

Our discussions on culture were really interesting, and by their questions I learned more about my own culture too. Some of the typical deeper values of the Dutch: a tendency to focus rather on negatives sides than on positives sides, a disliking of those persons showing off too much, the eternal and sometimes time-consuming decision process (cohesion…), the tendency to plan things quite a bit (how different that was in India..;-), and are relative outer oriented attitude ( we have too, our country is too small to be not flexible in international issues).

Afterwards we went for a channeltour. It was nice as always and we passed some of the typical parts of Amsterdam, like Herengracht, the harbour, the Westertoren etc. etc. Considering the many pictures my visitors were making, I assumee they really had a good time and like Amsterdam!

After our boat-trip we went, of course, for the red-light district. I must say, not so many girls were availble at 11 in the morning, and the one we saw were not the most attractive at all, we all agreed, with exception of a typical blond Dutch girl who grapped the attention of some of the members of our group quite a bit ;-).

We finished our trip with a short visit to China-town, allthough little Asia would be a little name considering the variety of Asians shops that can be found there, definitely not only from China. Actually I almost was run over by a car since everyone but me would understand the warning of a Chinese guy in Kantonese there… d:  By than, it was time already for them to take a train back to the airport and for me to my work. I must say time really went fast that morning…Showing it was really nice to spend time with them. Surely I wish they have a great time in Poland and that we will meet again, somewhere in this big world which actually sometimes seems to be so small….

Mmm, can not help to love victory…Allthough always trying to be a good sport, I can not help always wanting to win in any game involved. Wheter it is football, some quiz or a board game does not really make a difference…I just can not stand losing. I hate it.  Well, I suppose that is a good personality, allthough it surely has annoyed some friends sometimes who were just looking for a relaxing ‘friendly’. Hehe….

Last week was such a moment of competition. The venue was the season meeting of my company, which always is quite informal and mainly serves to increase the ties of the different employees, especially the office staff and Management team on the one hand, and the Interim Professional who are send on secondment - like me. As an main activity, this time a table football tournament was organised, obviously continung the recent World Cup fever. Of course I wanted to participate and considering I used to play this game when I was young a lot, having my own table, and also during college-time with my friends, I realised it would be quite possible to win the tournament, depending how rusty my skills would be and how good my partner would be. It also would be a good way to show myself, being quite a newbee there.

Well, no problem with any rusty skills or a poor partner…After some friendlies before the official kick-off my skills weren’t quite that rusty at all, and my partner turned out to have played table-football a lot to during his college time too. Quite a nice team we made…We won the tournament quite easily, with 36 goal for and only 7 against. we shaked each the hand, and waited full expections of the prize. It better be good, considering the good quality-image my company tries to maintain. 

Unfortunately, we had to break up our succesful partnership than…because only one price was there for the winner which could be shared! Of course we shocked by such brutal interuption of our harmony, but hey, this is Holland, we are an individualstic country so what to expect..;-).  Well, it would be a final full of action and excitment, with everyone watching…My started was a bit nervous and my opponent took a 3 goal lead, but I managed to keep track and really got into the game after a while. In the end I started to play very fast and my opponent got tired I guess, he could not keep up with the speed. Final result 10-6: I was the lucky one and won the tournament! And the prize was…..the table-football-table where we played on! I must say, it is quite nice and hughe, so that it takes a prominent place in my humble appartment…Hehe….

Well, surely most of the collegues who so far hardly would have known me, would remember this :-). Now I better stop, already my Chinese friend Cici told me I should not be too proud…:-(